I’m tired of being tired…

Honestly, I’m tired all the time!!!! I mean I totally understand that I’m going to be tired when I barely sleep… but that’s not the case!!! The word tired doesn’t even do how I actually feel justice. I’d say that it’s more exhausted than anything.

Maybe you understand what I’m talking about. Maybe you’ve done it too! I mean those 5 letters… that one word… is the easiest way to explain it. I know I’M totally guilty of it. Just answering with “I’m tired” or “just tired” (or any variation of it)… really is the easiest way to answer when someone asks me how I’m doing. But I’m probably actually tired only 10% of the time! 

I’m lethargic. I’m exhausted. I’m depressed.

Most of the time, I have to talk myself into getting out of bed. Actually, I have to talk myself into doing most things. To eat… to shower… to get a book… to do laundry… you name it and I’ll be tired already. It’s rare nowadays for me to feel like I’m a woman with a plan. 

Maybe this is weird…. but I miss the person I was before all of this. Such a go-getter. If I wanted something, I would work for it. If I wanted to do something, I wouldn’t wait for anyone to join me or help me.

….now I ask myself how badly do I want it? Can it wait until tomorrow? Can it wait until it’s sunny outside?

I think I remember reading somewhere that cats sleep for like 16 hours a day… that’s good news for me because Nala is more than willing to stay in bed with me for a long time…